Pchum Ben Day 2011

I share my view on the important of family reunion during Pchum Ben day and my sincere appreciation on my parents in maintaining family relation. I also write about the different view between old generation and young generation in giving meaning of reunion. These two views have gap which is difficult to converge in the modern society where young generation gives more meaning to friendship.

Pchum Ben is a day of family reunion and most of Buddhist followers observe this event as the most important for family reunion. Pchum Ben has a total of 15 days starting from the 1 roach (dark moon?) to the 15 roach which is call biggest day or Pchum Ben.  From the 1 roach or ben 1 to 13 roach or ben 13, children or individual family go to pagoda to pray and give offerings to their death ancestors; and on the 14 roach or ben 14, most families goes back to their hometown or the place of their parents' origin for family reunion. Then on the biggest day or ben 15, all families members go to pagoda altogether and visited resort or have picnic.
Tomorrow will be the biggest day or Pchum Ben. All of my brothers and sisters come to Kg Som where my parents are living for reunion. We often have happy time together. We make foods, eat and make fun of others. Every year, all of my siblings come to Kg Som for reunion. In Phnom Penh, we have different house and it is always difficult to stay and have chat together (i have 4 sibling living in Phnom Penh) as they are all busy. But, during Pchum Ben day, when we have family reunion, we always stay up late and everyone keep talking and talking.
My parents especially my mother, in her late 70s, is the happiest person during Pchum Ben day as she wants to maintain family relation and wants to see all of her children staying around. Though she is physically weak and affected by many disease (diabetes, blood pressure, stomachache, gallbladder tumor) she tries her best to walk around slowly in order to make sure everything runs properly and in order to welcome our arrival. My father, about 70 years old, goes to his farm to collect fruits especially coconut for us to drink.
This year, I plan to take my mother to Vietnam for checking up after the visit during Khmer New year this year, but she strongly refused to go. She argues that she missed the chance to welcome her children visit during Khmer New Year which is also the family reunion day, she would not go during Pchum Ben which is even more important than the Khmer New Year. She tries to eat in order to show that she has no problem and healthy though sometimes she could not bear the pain. I do feel pity on her for her devotion and tries her best to be the children shadow. She plays good model to us in maintaining family relation and giving love to all children no matter how old they are.
Since we arrived yesterday, it keeps raining and raining. My son and two of my nieces are sick. This year, it seems a bit quiet at least three of the small children get sick and cannot be playful. I wish they all recover soon so that they can make the reunion for meaningful and has full of fun.
By the way, it is easy to bring all small children along, they always follow the parents. But, when their are in their teenager-hood, they demand for their own freedom. It is not easy to bring them along anymore as they have their own destination and have different thought. For the parents, we think it is important for all children come to visit grandparents house and play with other cousins after being away from each other for almost a year; yet for adult children, age 16 and over, they have their own thought and demand to visit other places with their teenage friends and give less meaning to family reunion. It is hard to bring the two thought convergent. If we try to hard, they thought we did not understand about freedom; if we did not try, others thought we are too loose to educate our children. Being parents, it is difficult sometimes in particular to maintain family relationship. I very much appraise the big effort my parents have  done in order to bring all their children together. But, for us, we may not be able to follow this role model as the modern stage children are very difficult to deal with. I also cannot assure if Noren, in his teenager-hood, would follow me or not. Let's see what will happen in the future.

Playing with Foods

By September 18, 2011 Noren or commonly known as Shin-chan, a Japanese popular cartoon, turns to 18 months and 3 weeks. His height was 85 cm and weight was 12 kg while he was measured last month. Noren is big, he is actually comparable to other children in his age.

He starts to eat foods himself. He cries for eating foods himself. I was happy at the first time when I learned that my little son started to eat independently and I encouraged him to eat by himself. A few minutes later, he spread rice all over the place. In fact, he was striving to put the spoon into is little mouth. He was difficult to demand his little hands to touch the spoon and putting foods into his mouth. I was not upset but I laughed. I told myself that my little son is starting to learn. He will learn about how to use the spoon quickly.

Unfortunately, he failed to put the spoon into his mouth. One reason that I observed was not because of difficulty in demanding his hands to use the spoon, but it was his playfulness. He likes playing with foods which sometimes upsetting me. I wonder how to stop my child from playing with foods. If I took the foods from him immediately, he would cry out loud. One not-good attitude of Noren is that if we immediately stop him from doing something, he would be stubborn and keep doing things we do not want him to do. When he was with me, I tried to explain to him and insist him from stop playing with foods. I used only soft words with him. Noren understand a lot of the language though he could not speak. After he understood my soft insisting, he stopped playing it. But, it was for short time. So, what can I do next? Shout at him? force him to stop playing? or just simply taking him away from where he sat?

Fortunately, I came up with one interesting article about ‘How to stop your child from playing foods’. I read it with interest and I think it is worth sharing with all my friends who experienced or will experience similar issue. Please read the article below and if you are interested, you can register to be the member of the group via  http://www.babycenter.com

The article is written by Patricia Henderson Shimm, parent educator and author
http://www.babycenter.com 

It may be difficult to stop your child from fiddling with her food overnight, but how you respond when she does can gradually bring about change in her behavior. Although it may be tempting to scold her for playing at the table, try not to. Instead, when you sit down for a meal, enjoy your food and see whether she follows suit. When she starts building forts with her mashed potatoes or castles with her broccoli, calmly say, “Oh, I see you’re finished eating,” and take her plate away. You can also remind her that food is not for playing but for eating. The point is to avoid turning mealtime into a battleground or into a manners lesson in which you constantly have to monitor what she’s doing with her food. You concentrate on your food and assume she’s doing the same with hers. If you’re worried that she’ll starve, try not to show it, and take heart: Kids will eat when they’re hungry, especially active 2-year-olds who need an endless energy supply to fuel their growing minds and bodies.

If she seems uninterested in what you’ve prepared for her, avoid asking what she’d like to eat instead. Turning your kitchen into a restaurant where your child can order what she wants for breakfast, lunch, and dinner can be disastrous. If you operate on the assumption that everyone is eating what’s on the evening’s menu, she’ll soon learn to eat what you make.

Your child may also be playing with her food because she’s not hungry. To remedy this, don’t let her snack for at least an hour before meals so she will have the appetite to eat when it’s time. She may also be getting bored, so keep mealtimes to a realistic timetable. Your toddler really can’t be expected to sit still for more than 15 minutes at a time, even if you’ve served her absolute favorite dish. Include her in conversations by asking about her day and make the best of your time together as a family, then let her run and play while the rest of the family finishes their meal.

I Love You-Barney Song

I love you, you love me
we are happy family with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you,
won't you say you love me too.

I love you, you love me
we're best friends like friends should be with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you,
won't you say you love me too.

This is Noren's favorite song. He often smiles when he hears this song. Though he may not understand the meaning now, he will know it when he grows up.

I also like to listen to this song. It is about love within family and friends. If we love someone, we will be loved! Be nice to others, others be nice to you. I explained the meaning of this song to little Noren though I know that he may not get all the points. I expect one day he will understand.

To me, a good song is not a song for us to sing along, but it is a song with meaningful. It has to be both good lyrics and music. According to this song, it is important to show our love to others if we want to be loved.

This is the first sentiment lesson that I try to educate my little boy. I hope he will be loved and will have full of love in the whole life.

Kindhearted mummy